Laughter and Heartache

I watched a movie last night and while I enjoyed the movie it made me think. I know, I know TV is just supposed to be an outlet right? When the content makes me think if I would really want my daughters to live a life like this it gets kind of heavy on the heart. I have also just finished reading Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson (which I highly recommend both this one and Bringing Up Boys). We as women crave the desire to be loved for who we are and desire on such a deep level to connect in relationships that we will do almost anything for that feeling of fulfillment. In this movie (The Back-Up Plan) the lead got tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along and decided to be artificially inseminated. She even admits that this is not the way that she dreamed of the way she would have children. After being inseminated she meets Mr. Right that same day. While in the long run she gets her Prince Charming there is definite heartache along the way. What a huge thing to automatically throw on a guy and yet God does adopt us and welcomes us into His family. While I see that the blatant, I am going to live with you and commit but wait until after the babies are born to even propose marrying you idea is the way our culture and world looks at these types of situations. What a sad situation that there are women in this world that do take their future into their own hands and out of God's (yes, even Christian women). When we as women look to so many other ways and things to achieve that feeling of fulfillment it is not completely satisfying. Yes, even those who are married! Your husband or anything else cannot and will not satisfy that deepest longing. Only a true relationship with the Creator can completely fulfill those deepest cracks and crevices in the heart. I am not talking about the sure I know God, I am talking about the talking with Him and listening to Him and spending time with Him every day relationship. You see when we actually put into our relationship with Him what we put into everything else, everything else becomes secondary and we are fulfilled. Having lived life at break neck speed I can attest that the simple life is most assuredly the easier way to focus on Him and on other relationships. I have to admit it feels good to watch a movie or read a book that ends with the girl gets her Prince Charming and they live happily ever after and yes in the end that will happen, but when that becomes our primary focus as women we lose our focus on what is really important. An everyday real relationship with Him.

Courage, Valor, and Death

I got off the phone tonight with a close friend who just found out that some very close friends of hers were in a bad accident. With that knowledge the husband and baby did not make it and the wife was in critical and hadn't been told yet that her family did not make it. Just a few minutes before I got off the phone with my brother who had just found out that a close pastor friend had just passed. Also this last week we were anxiously awaiting to find out if we had lost any friends in the officer shootings in Lakewood, WA this last week.

To tell you the truth all of this death has got me thinking. I grew up learning the words courage, valor, integrity, and the willingness to lay down your life for a friend. I never really fully understood those words until I started having to face it everyday. Talking with a friend the other day, she made the comment that it takes a whole new level of faith to live a life as a warrior or be a spouse of one. Especially when you don't know if you or your warrior will come home at the end of the day. But in thinking about that I am not so sure in some ways and most definitely in others. After all what are we as Christians called to believe and live? We are called to live everyday as if it were the last. We are called to believe in God's sovereignty even when we don't understand. We are called to be ready when our time here on earth is done.

Don't get me wrong, when I stop and think about my warrior and others, I still have "Oh *&%#!" moments. Today has been one of those days and yet as I was needing some comfort tonight He pointed me to Psalm 91 once again and the last two chapters of Revelation. What wonderful passages. The reminder that His sovereignty is it. The wonderful place that He has gone to prepare for me and those that believe in Him. I know that I will have these moments again and that one day I may actually have to live it (I pray not for many many years). But for now..........

I ask that you all pray and pray hard for the families of the fallen in Lakewood, they have a long road ahead of them. I also ask that you pray for my friend and her family, this is one situation in many that she has been dealing with these last few months. I also pray that if you do not know the Lord that you will right now get on your knees and ask Him into your heart as your Lord and Saviour. Change your life. Get your name written in the Lambs Book of Life. Then tell someone immediately. God says TODAY IS THE DAY OF SALVATION! There is a reason for that. Life is to short and death is immediate. I hope and pray that I will see you walking those "streets of gold" with me one day!

Time..............................

You know it is funny. I look at pictures of friends that I have known for awhile and wonder what they are doing at that moment. How our lives change and life does go on even in those places that you think that life will stand still. I see changes in most but not in all and wonder........

There are points in time when I wish time would just stand still, especially those poignant moments with my kids. And yet I am thankful that I get to be a part of the next stage. We have so many babies in church right now and I look at Ari and how much she has changed in just a year. She is almost walking and this time last year I was sitting at Dawn's just praying she would come and planning how to move. Ania has crossed over into starting camp experiences. David isn't mommas little bud so much anymore. Funny isn't it?

The Quiet Life

The world we live in today is constant go go go. Always have some sort of entertainment on including but not limited too tv, music, ipod, phone, internet......I could go on and on. Until we got here I never realized how nice and calming it can be to learn to listen to the quiet, to not have music on, to shut the tv off and just enjoy each other. I have learned so much more about my children and their likes and dislikes. Thank God for the gift of peace and quiet.

Thankful for so Many Blessings

Aren't these great pictures? Ania is a natural and David just likes seeing his face on the camera. What a great way to see their love.

We have been out of Barrow for almost a year now. I keep thinking of the things I miss from up there, and then I start thinking of the things I really missed from the real world when we lived in the bush. Things like fresh vegetables, crawling in grass, the rain on the roof, and the wind in the leaves. Brent and I were talking the other day about cooking of all things. He always says how spoiled he is that I love to take the time and cook. I have been thinking about that allot lately. I love to try new recipes and taste new things all the time (you should see my recipe collection now and what it was before we left Barrow). We ate allot of pasta and spaghetti in Barrow not that we don't eat it here but we have fresher things to try and enjoy. He laughed cause I won't even bat an eye at spending two hours in the kitchen to make lunch if that is what it takes. I just enjoy the challenge and enjoyment of making people truly experience the food they eat.


So here is a list of things that I am thankful for not only because we are out of the bush but also because the Lord has provided so much.

• Fresh vegetables



• Green grass



• Wind in the leaves



• Rain on the roof



• Birds and the lovely sounds they make all night long



• Mosquitoes



• Raspberries



• Wild roses



• Rivers that are not covered in ice all year



• A place for the kids to ride their bikes



• Garage sales with good stuff


• A house to put it in and be able to decorate the way I want to decorate



• Screen doors and windows



• Mountains



• Kiska



• My wheelbarrow



• The chainsaw
• Really good coffee

Wow! I could go on and on...........
I am so thankful for the little blessings and sure hope that I don't take them for granted again.


The kids and I have been out working in the yard getting quite a few things accomplished. I got the garden planted and most of the front of the house dug out for us to treat the wood. Thankfully we will be able to get most of this done this summer. There isn't much left of it and I want to enjoy it while we can.

Ari learning to stand on her own.

These are some great pics of the kiddos in the yard.

I love these cute little faces she makes.

Ari is experiencing grass for the first time in these.

Spring Fever

So I couldn't take not doing something the other day. I got to cleaning as family is coming in a couple of weeks and I needed something to do....not that I don't already but I needed a distraction. I rearranged the loft. I like it better and will hopefully be able to get through some projects that are just sitting there waiting. I am going to do some garage sailing this summer and hopefully find some organizational things instead of just the totes that we have.

The kids have been suffering too. They have been riding their bikes on the snow and slush as well as through lovely mud puddles and coming in crying because they are stuck. It has been great though to see them running around.

The curriculum fair is this next week and I cannot believe I get to go this year. I didn't think I would be able to for awhile. The great thing is I can get everything ordered early and not have to worry about it......big relief! I have stressed over this the last couple of years and will not have to this year. Although I have been changing my mind a few times about what I really want to do with the kids this yeat. Ahhh, the fickle mind!

Smell of Spring

I walked out my front door yesterday morning and breathed deep! What a wonderful scent. The smell of spring is finally here. You know the one I am talking about, the smell of rain, the trees, etc. Also the sounds of spring are here as well. Water dripping, birds chirping, wondering if that sound in the trees is a moose or bear.

We have a huge puddle in our yard now that breakup is here. We have been seeing some moose and plenty of birds. It is so nice to walk out into 40 degrees in the morning and not having to wear a jacket. Although, I am slipping on the ice that is quickly melting up the driveway to get the paper every morning.

I am quickly starting to get anxious about getting our summer projects getting done. Spring and summer is so fleeting here in Alaska. We have a long list since this is our first summer in our house and we have added one more with our wood boiler by having to cut wood for the coming winter. I did get some done before breakup hit. I went and bought myself a chainsaw and yes it is purple and I can start it. I have been teasing Brent that his wife doesn't go by jewelry or something else that is feminine, I by a chainsaw so I can hear it roar! I have to have it for when he is gone as I cannot start the other one. I moved a cord of wood on Thursday of last week. I had fun cutting! I am still regretting it though as my back is still giving me problems with the size of the logs that I put in the back of the truck. I do so enjoy the work though and getting out in the woods. Splashing through the puddles was the height of enjoyment for the kids.

Chores and Fun

While we were out being responsible, as Brent likes to call it. Working hard is more like it! We got a few good pictures of being and working together as a family. The kids are getting to the point where they now want to help get wood. It has started to warm up so they are more apt to get out of the car and help.

Ari loved riding in the truck and helping me pull out logs from the piles. Talk about a fun time. There is nothing like pulling out trees with a 4 wheel drive truck that is older than your husband! Although I have to admit I would take the truck over him any day!:) Even though it has a hole in the floor, doesn't have a working radio, and goes through gas like no tomorrow! It sure didn't look like much when we got it, but I am so glad the Lord was in control on this one. I wouldn't touch the thing when we first got it because of all the buttons, but life and circumstances have caused me to change my mind. We have tried and tried to get it stuck, that thing even pulls Todd's grain truck out when it is stuck with a full load of wood in the back. Good 'ol American made!

This is our beautiful Keeska. She enjoyed the farm so much. I think she enjoyed the truck so much more. There is nothing like driving down the open road with your truck and your dog. She has truly become a part of the family.